


mind your manners

by watergator



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2009 Era (Phandom), Arguing, Coming Out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-08-04 01:57:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16337540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watergator/pseuds/watergator
Summary: dan (kinda) comes out to his brother





	mind your manners

“You know, being a good brother means letting me win right?”

The screen lights up again and bursts into colour as the game continues to the next round. Dan’s selected character stands tall on the left hand side looking over at his opponent with his three pixel eyes.

“Nu uh,” Dan shakes his head, not taking his eyes off the screen, “being a good brother means actually letting you play, which is what I’m doing now.”

He quickly turns his head to face Adrian who sits beside him, catching him rolling his eyes,

“Whatever. I don’t need you to let me win,” he smirks, and nods at the screen. Dan glances back to see the match begin.

They sit in a suspended silence, smashing the buttons of their PlayStation controllers. Dan gets the upper hand at one point, emitting a small curse from his younger brother to slip past his lips.

“Don’t fucking swear,” Dan tells him with a tense voice, too immersed in the game before him. He hears Adrian snicker a laugh,

“Fuck off, mums not here so fuck you.”

Dan doesn’t return the cheeky banter, but instead focuses his energy on beating the life out of Adrian’s game character.

“No, no no no, shit!” Adrian squeals, his voice high, as he starts rapidly smacking his fingers against the buttons in a furious attempt; that is lost however, when Dan’s character gives one swift kick to the stomach and the game is over.

“Arse,” Adrian mutters under his breath, slinging the controller to the side of him on the sofa.

Dan tuts, a sly grin on his face, “Now what did I say about using naughty words?” Dan teases and Adrian rolls his eyes once more,

“Twat,” he retaliates back.

“You know,” Dan says turning to face the tv again to load up a new game, “no amount of shitty insults will make you any better than me.”

He hears Adrian pick his controller back up and give a breathy laugh,

“Oh yeah? No amount of how lucky you are will change the fact that you’re gay,” Adrian laughs.

It’s a joke. It’s a crappy joke that a stupid 11-year-old would make. But it still runs Dan’s blood cold, almost freezing when he sees his brother has neither reacted to what he’s just said or at the fact that Dan’s suddenly gripping the controller tight in his hands.

“Okay uhh, _Prototype Jack_ , let’s actually win this one,” Adrian speaks to the tv. He looks over when he realises Dan hasn’t picked a character yet.

“What’s wrong?” Adrian asks looking up at Dan who is sure he’s probably gone pale.

He clears his throat and selects the character he’s already on and shakes his head,

“Nothing. Just play the game.”

Five minutes into the game and Dan is very clearly loosing. He’s taking hits and punches and combo moves, but doesn’t say a word as Adrian bounces up and down on the sofa beside him as he gets closer to wining.

“This is what you get for choosing Paul. He’s _well_ gay.”

It stings, almost like sending a jolt of electricity up his spine. He glances over at his brother with angry eyes.

His health bar is almost out and Adrian who seems pretty pleased with himself continues button slamming. But just as he thinks he’s going to win, Dan jabs his thumb in attempt to perform a special move. But his hands shake and he misses, giving Prototype Jack the opportunity to grab poor Paul by the leg and slam him into the ground. The health bar turns red and a victory screen appears for Jack.

“Ha! Yes! Told you I could win!” Adrian laughs in delight throwing himself up off the sofa and then back down again.

Dan’s lungs feel tight and when Adrian laughs again in triumph he drops his controller to the ground and lets it skitter across the floor with perhaps too much force.

Adrian stops his celebrations to look over at Dan with a frown,

“Oh you are such a sore loser; you know that Dan?” 

“Yeah whatever, I’m bored now.” He says in a dry voice.

Adrian retrieves the controller from the floor and shoves in into Dan’s hands,

“One more game? Please? I won’t be a dick about it, promise?” Adrian pleads, but Dan pushes his hands away,

“No, fuck off. I’m going to my room so do whatever you want,” he tells him as he goes to get up, his tone maybe being too harsh when he sees the hurt look on his face.

“Dan,” Adrian says, pulling on his arm so he sits back down again, “did I piss you off?”

_Yes._

“No.”

“Then why are you annoyed then?”

_Because you called me gay. Because you used it as an insult._

“Nothing. Just got better things to be doing than playing games with a bratty kid like you,” Dan shrugs and gets up. It doesn’t have the usual sarcasm or hint of amusement it’d usually have, but he doesn’t care. He just wants to get out of here away from his dumb brother and go to his room and -

well. And talk to Phil.

“Wow. Thanks Dan. I’ll remember that next time you wanna play ddr or halo with me. Since you got no actual friends to play with,” Adrian sneers from behind him.

Dan knows to walk away. He knows he wants an argument just so Dan will smack him or yell at him and he’ll have a reason to go crying to mum later on, but that doesn’t stop him from biting back.

“I do have friends actually,” Dan turns to face him. He’s still sat on the sofa with his controller in his hands.

Adrian laughs harshly, “Oh yeah? What, like _Phil_ , is it?”

That’s it. Dan sees red and he’s picking up a book from the shelf beside him and lobbing it across the room at him. Adrian lets out a high scream, his voice not quiet broken yet, and ducks, it missing his head by an inch. 

Dan hadn’t really been aiming for him but it had felt good to see it skim off the top of his hair,

“Fuck off!” Adrian yells and this time he’s throwing his PlayStation remote, which a bit more force and aim, and it lands against Dan’s shin painfully.

“You little shit,” Dan seethes through gritted teeth. He storms across the room and smacks him against the arm, not hard enough than he’d like but sometimes Dan has to remind himself that he’s a whole six years older than his brother. He’s not exactly ripped, but it wouldn’t exactly be fair to wail on his brother who’s much smaller than he is.

Still, he slaps him against his arm and Adrian kicks out. He gets him in the gut and Dan grabs his leg and pulls him down off the couch,

“Let go of me! Piss off!” Adrian flails his arms and legs around, managing to get a good few smacks and kicks in.

Dan pins his legs down with his own heavier body and smacks against his arms again,

“Don’t ever fucking throw that at me again!” He yells at him, but Adrian screams over him,

“You started it!” He pinches at Dan’s arm and lets out a yelp when Dan does the same,

“No, you did!” Dan yells back. Adrian has almost managed to wiggle free by the point and is kicking his legs out again. He stands up but Dan pushes his back against his sofa with an oof,

“All over a stupid game?” Adrian says, breathlessly as his chest heaves, he stands back up again but Dan uses his advantage of being a lot taller and stronger and pushes him back down again,

“You’re an idiot. No wonder nobody likes you if you get this pissy over a game.”

 Dan’s heart is racing in his chest. This is the last time he’s going to be lumbered into babysitting duties. He pushes Adrian back down and pins his body down by pressing his knees into his stomach,

“Ow! Ow! Dan stop that actually hurts!” Adrian tries to wriggle away but Dan presses his knees deeper against his ribs. He won’t actually hurt him, but instead he says,

“Say sorry.”

“Fuck off.”

Dan presses harder and grits his teeth, “Say sorry.”

“I’ll tell mum!” Adrian yells and his voice sounds like he’s about to cry. Dan eases his knees up a bit and watches him wriggle around like a trapped worm underneath him.

“Just say sorry!” Dan yells again.

“For what?” 

There's a beat of silence long enough for Dan to hear the loud pumping of blood around his head. He scowls at his brother underneath him.

“For calling me gay.”

Adrian stops trying to escape. His flapping arms and legs come to a halt and he looks up at Dan with big watery brown eyes.

“What?”

Dan gives his ribs a quick jab again with his knees, “Just say it.”

Adrian blinks, a moment of silent passes through them both, and then,

“Okay. I’m sorry for - sorry for calling you gay.”

He sounds surprised, shocked even, and with that Dan lets him go. He stands up and brushes himself off and looks down at Adrian who’s still on the sofa.

“See?” Dan spits, “That wasn’t so hard was it?”

Adrian says nothing, and instead stares up at him.

“So don’t fucking throw anything like that at me again.”

Adrian still unmoving and silent begins to scare Dan a little. This was definitely a time in which Dan should have heeded his mum’s words and walked away from the situation.

Fuck.

“You okay?” Dan asks, only because he’s not sure what else to say.

Adrian blinks again and sits up, “Yeah.”

There’s a long silence. By now after a fight like that, Dan would slunk to his room and make sure that when his parents would eventually come home to get back downstairs to make sure his brat of a brother wasn’t telling on him.

Adrian rubs his shoulder when Dan had smacked him. He deserved it.

“Sorry.” Adrian speaks again in a quiet voice. It stuns Dan for a bit. His brother isn’t one to usually feel bad after an argument, normally ready and waiting to get him into trouble when he can.

“It’s fine.” Dan tells him with a shrug, “Just don’t go telling mum when she comes home,” Dan warns him gently.

He watches Adrian sit up a little and swallow, his eyes looking down,

“About the fight or the gay thing?”

Oh double fuck.

“What?” Dan splutters, that’s not he’d meant at all - not something he really wanted Adrian knowing,

“That’s not what I -“ he frowns but his brother interrupts him.

“I don’t care if you are. If Phil is your boyfriend. It’s fine. It’s cool. I won’t tell anyone,” Adrian begins to ramble and Dan feels his entire body tense. If the world could swallow him up at any moment, now would be a good time.

“Kids at school say gay all the time! I’m not homophobic!” Adrian keeps babbling on when Dan hasn’t said anything.

What should he say? That Phil’s not his boyfriend? Because he kinda is. That’s he’s not gay? Because he’s not even sure.

“And like if you don’t want mum and dad to know then like, I’ll lie and like, say stuff about girls if you want. Or not. I can shut up if you want me to.”

“Dan, I’m -“

“Adrian, shut the fuck up.”

His mouth snaps shut and looks back up at Dan. He wrings his hands in one another and fidgets where he sits.

He thinks he’s uncomfortable, he should try being in Dan’s shoes right now.

“I’m not-“ he stops taking a breath, “gay.”

Adrian’s shoulders sag as he looks at him with a confused look.

“Oh.”

Dan sits beside him, leaving a considerable gap between them.

“I just thought that, you know...” Adrian trails off with a shrug of his shoulder.

Dan remains silent, because he doesn’t really know. How had this conversation turned to scary and real so quick? All they’d been doing was playing Tekken 2 and now Dan felt like all his emotions was laid out in front of him.

“Just, you know. You broke up with your girlfriend and now all you go on about is this Phil guy.” Adrian says quietly.

“Not that’s it’s any of your business but we broke up because she’s in uni. I told mum that. I’m surprised she didn’t tell you either, since you lot always talk about me behind my back anyways,” Dan says trying not to sound hurt, but Adrian’s gaze flickers up at him with concern.

“I don’t speak to mum about it. Not the whole, Phil thing.” Adrian tells him.

Dan frowns, “And what do you mean by the whole Phil thing’?”

Adrian shifts in his seat and looks down,

“I hear you sometimes. At night.”

Dan’s mouth goes dry very quickly and his face burns red,

“You what?”

Adrian’s looks back up at him, “I hear you talking and laughing and stuff. You talk a lot.”

Dan relaxes, letting the air flow in his lungs again. Having his younger brother accidentally overhear innocent late night phone calls is a lot better than... _other things_  they’ve done over Skype recently.

“What if he’s just my friend?” Dan asks. He’s not really sure he’s ready to have this kind of conversation with his brother right now, but he seems to be letting it happen with open arms. And Dan’s testing the waters for now.

“Is he? Just a friend?” Adrian asks slowly. 

Dan scratches his nails up and down his thigh against his jeans, heart thumping in his chest. He shrugs,

“What if he wasn’t?”

His eyes flicker upwards to see Adrian give a shrug, “Wouldn’t bother me.”

Dan nods, and looks back down. It’s weird how the conversation makes him feel a long younger than he his; like he’s the 11 year old here instead.

“I might be going to go visit him soon,” Dan blurts out. Adrian looks up at him with a smile.

“Cool,” then his smile falters, “I’m guessing mum and dad don’t know yet, do they?”

Dan shakes his head and lets out a wobbly laugh, “Fuck no. You’re the first person I’ve told about... all of this,” he gestured vaguely.

“So like,” Adrian scoots forward just an inch, “I'm the first person you’ve, like, come out to?” 

He sounds as nervous as Dan feels. Is this coming out? Is it coming out if he doesn’t even know how to phrase it? There’s no: ‘Mum, dad, I’m...’ because that last part is blank still.

He sighs deeply.

“I’m not gay,” Dan tells him, his voice barely a whisper,

“But Phil is your —“

Dan nods,

“Boyfriend?” Adrian adds slowly, watching over at his brother.

“I think so,” Dan shrugs for what feels the millionth time. Half this conversation has Adrian asking questions and Dan replying with the shrug of his shoulders.

Adrian nods, looking like he’s thinking, 

“So is that why you broke up with-“

Dan shakes his head. “No. That was just uni stuff,” he assures him. Adrian just nods in response.

“But I guess it did... help. Kinda.” Dan adds quietly. He’s not exactly sure what makes him say it, simply speaking his mind, but it feels a little easier that his brother just sits and listens.

“Which doesn’t make sense because it’s still all so confusing, you know?” He gives a breathy laugh and looks up at his brother sat beside him who offers him a small smile.

“I mean, I'm already confused and I’m only eleven, so...” Adrian trails off before he laughs quietly.

Dan laughs too, a little louder.

“Fuck. You’re right, why the hell am I telling you this for?” He laughs, even though he’s sure he can feel tears begin to form behind his eyes.

Maybe it’s because he knows Adrian won’t actually do anything. He won’t scream and yell at him like his parents might. He won’t take away his phone and laptop and ban him from talking to boys anymore. Maybe there’s that comfort that there’s nothing to be afraid of in front of his little brother that make it that tiniest bit easier. It’s still scary, but less so.

“I won’t tell anyone.” Adrian says, awkwardly reaching out to pat Dan’s shoulder.

“Cheers.” Dan smiles. It feels weird.

It feels _really_ fucking weird.

“Are you gonna tell them? Mum and dad?” Adrian asks, sitting back a little.

Dan rubs at his eyes with the heel of his hand and lets out a long drawn out sigh.

“I don’t know how.”

Adrian pats his shoulder again, this time letting his hand linger a little longer.

“I’m sure they’ll be okay with it. They won’t hate you, Dan.” He speaks softly.

Dan sniffs. 

“Yeah?” He asks looking over at Adrian again.

He nods, “Yeah. And nothing’s changed between us, yeah?” He nods with a smile, “You’re still gonna be a pain in the ass. Gay or not.” He jokes. He goes a little tense when he realises what he’s said, but when Dan lets out a snort, he laughs too.

“Okay. Fuck. Thanks, for, you know. Not being a dickhead.” Dan mumbles, and this time it’s Adrian who snorts a laugh,

“I’m always gonna be a dickhead, Dan. It’s what little brothers do.”

Dan rolls his eyes with a smile. Just then, the front door opens and there’s the sound of paws against wood. Adrian takes his hand off Dan’s shoulder and they scoot away as Dan rubs at his watery eyes.

“Boys?” A voice from the hallways calls.

“Hey.” Dan calls back to their mum, who emerges into the living room with a dog attached by a leash, looking flustered and out of breath.

“Good run?” Dan asks, unclipping Banghi free to let him bounce away and leap up onto the couch to sit beside Adrian,

“Get him down from there,” Dan’s mum says breathlessly, “and good thanks. Lovely weather out there. Don’t know why you boys never wanna join your mother,” she beams, looking at both of them. They both groan.

“What have you two been up to anyways? Not ripping each other apart I hope?” She asks flopping down on the couch where Dan was just sat.

Adrian laughs, “Yeah. I beat Dan at Tekken and then he almost killed me in real life.”

Dan feels nervous all of a sudden; that his brother could easily continue that story with the conversation they’d just had, but he looks over at Dan with a knowing smile, and Dan relaxes.

“That would explain the book and the remote on the floor then, hm?” She says bending down to untie her shoe.

“We sorted through our differences though, didn’t we Dan?” Adrian asks, looking over his mum’s head. Dan smiles softly.

“With what? Did Dan sit on you again?” His mum asks sitting back up,

“Yeah at first. But I think another round is probably due instead.” Dan smiles at Adrian.

“Whilst that’s very lovely of you boys, and I’m actually rather scared that you’re getting along so well, you can both help with dinner first.” Dan’s mum says standing up and out of her shoes, heading towards the kitchen.

“Shit, really?” Dan moans, watching her walk away,

“Language.” She calls from the kitchen.

“Yeah, Daniel, watch your pissing language,” Adrian sneers with a smile as they both follow her out there,

“I didn’t teach him that!” Dan calls out to their mum before she can say anything. 

“Behave! Or no PlayStation or whatever the bloody thing is,” their mum calls out to them.

Adrian just elbow Dan in the ribs, a sly smile plastered on his face.

“Rematch after dinner?” He asks, hopeful,

“Whatever,” Dan laughs, “idiot.”

**Author's Note:**

> reblog/like on tumblr @watergator !!


End file.
